Not Every Student Will Like You (& You Won't Like Every Student)
Oct 07, 2026Click the play bar below to listen to this episode:
Not every student will like you—and you will not naturally like every student you teach. In this episode of Beginning Teacher Talk, Dr. Lori releases the guilt surrounding difficult student relationships and explains why professional care is an action, not a feeling or an effortless personal connection.
Show Notes:
In Part Four of the Impossible Standards Series, Dr. Lori explores the pressure teachers feel to be liked by every student and naturally enjoy every child they teach. She explains how relying on student approval can weaken classroom boundaries, lead to endless chances, and make consistent follow-through feel personal. You’ll also learn how finding one small, honest positive, taking a neutral relational action, and using a dependable classroom management system can help you remain respectful, curious, and steady, even when a student relationship feels difficult.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The difference between wanting students to feel cared for and needing them to like you
- Why a difficult connection does not prevent you from treating a student with dignity, fairness, and respect
- How the need for student approval can weaken classroom boundaries and consistent follow-through
- How one honest positive observation or neutral relational action can begin shifting a difficult pattern
- Why a dependable classroom management system can protect student relationships when emotions are running high
Links & Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
You do not need to force a heartwarming moment or convince yourself that a challenging student is secretly your favorite. Instead, choose one interaction that is not about correcting behavior.
Learn one of the student’s interests. Notice one genuine strength. Ask a neutral question about something that matters to them. You might also try the Two-by-Ten strategy by spending two minutes a day for ten school days talking with the student about their interests without turning the conversation into a lesson or correction.
This does not excuse disrespect, aggression, or repeated disruption. It simply prevents a student’s most difficult behavior from becoming the only thing you can see.
Professional care is not constant chemistry. It is choosing to remain fair, respectful, curious, and consistent, even when liking a student does not come easily.
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Listen & Subscribe:
Listen to this episode of Beginning Teacher Talk to learn how to strengthen difficult student relationships without relying on likability, abandoning boundaries, or ignoring challenging behavior. Be sure to follow, rate, and subscribe for more practical classroom management strategies, student relationship support, and encouragement created especially for elementary teachers.
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💛 Lori
Dr. Lori Friesen | Beginning Teacher Mentor
Creator of the R.E.A.D.Y. for School Academy and The Classroom Management Club, Dr. Lori Friesen has mentored thousands of beginning teachers across the country through her workshops and courses. Host of the popular podcast Beginning Teacher Talk and author of Dear New Teacher, Here's Exactly What to Do, Dr. Lori is dedicated to serving educators and inspiring learners. Learn more at drlorifriesen.com.
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Related episodes you might enjoy:
- How to Build Relationships with Your Students in the First Weeks of School
- All Behavior is Communication: 12 Easy Ways to Build Connections with Your Students
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